CALL IN GAY 12/10/2008

My Day Without A Gay @ The Ian Harvie Show
By Girl Afraid on Lez Get Real

Click here to view photos from this evening

In Memory of Debra Marie Long

My heart dropped to the floor when I found out that Paula Brooks, Lez Get Real’s Executive Director, lost her partner Debbie Long on Monday morning. It truly is An Unimaginable Loss. I want to emphasize UNIMAGINABLE because it’s so surreal when you lose somebody close to you. It’s like you’re in a trance and you are watching everything around you, almost like seeing a film, but it’s your life. I know for a fact that this is hard thing to accept and no matter how many times somebody says they’re sorry, nothing can soothe your pain.

I should have responded quickly with my condolences for Paula and her family but for some reason I was lost for words. A sincere sorry would have sufficed but it just made me so sad. Even though Paula is across the country from me, I felt like I couldn’t face her. Sorry if that sounds lame. This event brought up memories of loved ones I’ve lost.

Debra Marie Long died of breast cancer. I have friends who have been diagnosed and I lost my Nina Bobbie to breast cancer.

Stef & Nina Bobbie [August 1993]

I made a small donation to The Susan G. Komen Foundation in memory of Debbie. Please check out the site for more information. I encourage everyone to spread breast cancer awareness.

The holidays have always been a bit rough to get through. My mother passed away, of a heart attack, almost 9 years ago. November & December have always been the biggest months for my family because we have 10 November birthdays, including my mother's, to celebrate along with Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. But without my mom, it doesn't even feel like the holidays.

Stephanie & Judy Chavez [November 1998]

I wrote a poem about my mother's death a couple of years ago. I shared it with my family at the cemetery for my mother's birthday and we all cried. I gave a copy to a co-worker when she lost her son and she appreciated it. I'm posting it here as a testimony that loss and acceptance gets better with time. I hope it can help someone still keep the faith.

Dearest Paula,

I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers. I wish I could be near you to hug and comfort you. I'm proud to be part of the LGR family and I love how supportive everyone has been. I hope you know that you are loved and we are here for you. This is a very difficult time but I promise you that you will get through this.

Love, Stephanie

StereoStef is Girl Afraid

It's time I created a blog.
I want to keep track of the happenings in my life.

Please allow me to introduce myself:

I’m a Young American Woman whom comes from a Mexican/American Mother and a Hispanic/German Father. I drink like a German but I can’t speak like one. I only know how to say “Prost” (Cheers). I barely speak Spanish but for some reason I speak it well when I’m drunk, Salud!

I live in the wonderful city of El Sereno. I went to all the schools in my district: Farmdale, El Sereno Jr, Wilson High, and Cal State L.A. I had my first job at the El Sereno Library and I’m proud to say that I started Project 10 at Wilson High School.

El Sereno has come a long way from its ghetto self. Hoodlums & Cholos used to walk our streets and now they are outnumbered with little rockers, rockabilies. emo kids, skaters. They have and still are improving this city; they renovated the Park, Post Office and Library. Most people drive down our historical Huntington Dr and don’t even know they’re in El Sereno. Every time I told someone I lived in El Sereno they wouldn’t know what I was talking about so I would say, "I live between Downtown and Alhambra."

My name is Stephanie Chavez and I'm 30 years young. I am a single Lesbian Latina. I've lived in Los Angeles my entire life. My father was born and raised in El Paso, Texas and the majority of his family lives all over Texas. My mother was born and raised in Los Angeles and my brother and sisters live in the L.A. area.

My mother passed away several years and not a day goes by without thinking of her. I love and miss her very much. It took me many years to finally accept it and realize that this is just a part of life. She will always be in my heart and her memory will live on. I'm lucky I have a huge family; it makes me not feel so alone in this world.
I currently live with my father and my sister, including her party of five. It's all good though because I turned our den into my own little loft. I'm very family oriented. I don't have any children but I feel like I do with my 30 nieces and nephews, including 9 great nephews & 6 great nieces. Sometimes I forget that I'm in my 30s because these kids help keep me young.
I'm fond of music, film, photography, traveling, scrapbooks, concerts, playing poker/pool/board games, happy hour, ties, tweezers, and thrift store/yard sale hunting. Although I'm not a good dancer, I like to go out to a club once in a while but I prefer a bar or lounge. I have several hobbies but my favorite pastime is playing the bass guitar.

I taught myself how to play guitar in high school. I can play basic chords but don't expect me to rip a crazy solo. The Beatles easy chord guide was great and I learned a couple of songs. I would jam out with friends but it seemed that everyone had a guitar and I wanted a variety of instruments during our jam sessions. I bought a keyboard next but I wasn't very successful and I could only play a few notes with one hand. Next, I got a drum set and got one of those how to videos and learned a few beats. I still can keep a steady beat. The last instrument on the list was a bass guitar. Maybe I was saving the best for last because that seemed to be my weapon of choice. I've been playing the bass for 7 years.

Grand Folk was the first band I played in and it was with my friends Bryant, Ernest and Mark. We did that for a couple of years and mainly played parties. Shortly after, for shits & giggles, we started a Rock N' Roll Tribute Band called The Barbarian Horde. We played several gigs, including 2 fundraisers, for family & friends.
My latest band Benner, was formed in late 2004. It was a power trio for a year and a half until the drummer Mark moved to San Diego. Ironically, Dominic Patacsil, guitarist/singer, is a native of San Diego. We still had a couple of gigs and played them with my nephew Joseph, save-the-day, as the best drummer. Benner had a falling out but Dominic and I remained friends. A year and a half later, we played a holiday show for a friend's party. Benner isn't broken-up, we are just in hibernation due to a conflict of our work schedules. We have a couple of our songs on MySpace, an unfinished 4 Track EP, and about 6 other songs we've yet to record. My New Year's resolution is to get the EP finished and available for people to download.
I'm not a rockstar, so I have to have a regular job for money. I've been working at Kaiser Permanente for the past 4 years and it's the greatest job because I work evenings (not a morning person).

Ok, you totally have to check out LezGetReal.com for A Gay Girl's View of the World. It's a new website with a great group of writers covering all different types of topics. I heard about it through a MySpace bulletin posted by Lizzy the Lezzy, the greatest animated lesbian comic ever! It was a friendly introduction for the new site with an invitation for contributions. I recently blogged a detailed summary of the PinUp Girls and wrote to the site asking if that was something they'd be interested in. They wanted to use the article as well as extended an offer to contribute to the site on a regular basis and I gladly accepted.

I'm really excited about this site. I love sharing my experiences; I love spreading the word about great music, movies and events and Lez Get Real just happens to be my golden ticket. I'm honored to be contributing this amazing site. Please stop by, check it out and let everyone know about it. Also, be sure to check out the Lez Get Real You Tube so you can view a few videos I created. This is my first time and LGR has been very gentle with me =). I go by the name Girl Afraid, a Smiths reference which is also socially true.