StereoStef's items Stephanie Stoltz Chavez


In Memory of Debra Marie Long

My heart dropped to the floor when I found out that Paula Brooks,
Lez Get Real’s Executive Director, lost her partner Debbie Long on Monday morning. It truly is An Unimaginable Loss. I want to emphasize UNIMAGINABLE because it’s so surreal when you lose somebody close to you. It’s like you’re in a trance and you are watching everything around you, almost like seeing a film, but it’s your life. I know for a fact that this is hard thing to accept and no matter how many times somebody says they’re sorry, nothing can soothe your pain.

I should have responded quickly with my condolences for Paula and her family but for some reason I was lost for words. A sincere sorry would have sufficed but it just made me so sad. Even though Paula is across the country from me, I felt like I couldn’t face her. Sorry if that sounds lame. This event brought up memories of loved ones I’ve lost.

Debra Marie Long died of breast cancer. I have friends who have been diagnosed and I lost my
Nina Bobbie to breast cancer.

Stef & Nina Bobbie [August 1993]

I made a small donation to The Susan G. Komen Foundation in memory of Debbie. Please check out the site for more information. I encourage everyone to spread breast cancer awareness.
The holidays have always been a bit rough to get through. My mother passed away, of a heart attack, almost 9 years ago. November & December have always been the biggest months for my family because we have 10 November birthdays, including my mother's, to celebrate along with Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. But without my mom, it doesn't even feel like the holidays.

Stephanie & Judy Chavez [November 1998]

I wrote a poem about my mother's death a couple of years ago. I shared it with my family at the cemetery for my mother's birthday and we all cried. I gave a copy to a co-worker when she lost her son and she appreciated it. I'm posting it here as a testimony that loss and acceptance gets better with time. I hope it can help someone still keep the faith.

Dearest Paula,

I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers. I wish I could be near you to hug and comfort you. I'm proud to be part of the LGR family and I love how supportive everyone has been. I hope you know that you are loved and we are here for you. This is a very difficult time but I promise you that you will get through this.